Sarah gets angry with Abraham - odd things in the Bible #8

Here's another thing that makes me wonder about Abraham's leadership and character. In Genesis 16 (read it below), there's a puzzle. Sarah can't have children. She and Abraham are old. They are desperate to make the promise of God come true.

It's the cultural right of a wife to give her slave to her husband and claim the children as her own. That happens in subsequent generations, too. (2 generations later, more than half of Jacob's children are born by his wives' servants. In the times of the judges of Israel, Naomi claims her grandchild as her own, though born by her daughter-in-law Ruth.)

But here's the strange thing I'm thinking about. Abraham never asks God if this is his plan. He takes the easy way out.

That backfires after the servant Hagar becomes pregnant. She begins to disrespect Abraham's wife and her mistress.

Most of us would think: "Sarah, how can you blame Abraham for this turmoil, when it's your own fault? You asked Abraham to give you a child by Hagar."

A closer look at ancient culture shows that the head of the house was responsible for keeping his household in harmony. Abraham avoids conflict again. He doesn't take charge or put the servant in her proper role. He never says to Hagar, "Hey, Sarah is my wife. Stop behaving so badly and treat her with respect."

Instead, he deflects responsibility and discipline to Sarah, who is angry enough to be mean. It's a hard life and a dysfunctional household because there is no clear authority.

Eventually, Hagar is sent away for continuing disrespect, which she has also taught her son Ishmael. (Ishmael teases his step-brother at the celebration when the little guy is weaned. Genesis 21:9) The family splits apart and Abraham's heart is broken. He loves both boys.

Yet when Abraham dies, both sons - Ishmael from Hagar and Isaac from Sarah - are at his funeral. Family dynamics haven't changed as much as we think.

Question: When do you take the easy way out and avoid responsibility? What are the consequences of your cowardice?

Read more: Genesis 16

Abram’s wife Sarai had never had any children by him. But she had a female slave from Egypt named Hagar. So she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go and sleep with my slave. Maybe I can have a family through her.”

Abram agreed to what Sarai had said. His wife Sarai gave him her slave Hagar to be his wife. That was after he had been living in Canaan for ten years. Then he slept with Hagar, and she became pregnant.

When Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to look down on the woman who owned her. Then Sarai said to Abram, “It’s your fault that I’m suffering like this. I put my slave in your arms. Now that she knows she’s pregnant, she looks down on me. May the Lord judge between you and me. May he decide which of us is right.”

“Your slave belongs to you,” Abram said. “Do with her what you think is best.” Then Sarai treated Hagar badly. So Hagar ran away from her.

The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring of water in the desert. The spring was beside the road to Shur. The angel said, “Hagar, you are Sarai’s slave. Where have you come from? Where are you going?”

“I’m running away from my owner Sarai,” she answered.

Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to the woman who owns you. Obey her.” The angel continued, “I will give you and your family many children. There will be more of them than anyone can count.”

The angel of the Lord also said to her,

“You are now pregnant
    and will have a son.
You will name him Ishmael,
    because the Lord has heard about your suffering.
He will be like a wild donkey.
    He will use his power against everyone,
    and everyone will be against him.
    He will not get along with any of his family.”

She gave a name to the Lord who spoke to her. She called him “You are the God who sees me.” That’s because she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” That’s why the well was named Beer Lahai Roi. It’s still there, between Kadesh and Bered.

So Hagar had a son by Abram and Abram gave him the name Ishmael. Abram was 86 years old when Hagar had Ishmael by him.